Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Day 27: The Truth

Something that I have been learning lately is that truth sometimes comes from unlikely sources, but we can learn a lot about the world and ourselves if we are open to hearing it. 

I have had more than one person tell me lately that I don't take very good care of myself. As I am wont to do, I was offended. But, as I am also wont to do, I went away and thought about it. These people were right. I don't eat well or exercise enough or feed my soul with activities that I know would bring me happiness. Why not? Sadly, deep down the answer is that I don't think I deserve it. I was shocked when I realized that. So I am trying to do better now. I started with a self date night yesterday since Danny was away. I had a nice meal and got a good night of sleep. I continued this morning with a nice breakfast at home ("egg toast" and a little slice with some jam) and healthy meals all day. I am going to try to treat myself how I would want my loved ones treated.

Another truth that came my way this week was delivered in a rather rude way. This person, who I deal with in a professional capacity, told me that we need to focus on one big thing at a time (though there were many big things which needed to be addressed at once). I was upset at the offensive way that this was delivered to me, but upon reflecting about it, I thought, "this person was right, but they missed the mark a bit." My anxiety does not make a lot of sense to someone who does not suffer from it. It takes seemingly normal tasks and events and turns them into worst case scenarios. The physical symptoms are scary and exhausting. But following this conversation, I realized that I needn't let my anxiety own me. There are some things I can do to minimize the pressure I am feeling. It is time to let some things go; to streamline my life. To focus on the things that matter - the "big things." See? Truth.

Day 27

Today I am thankful that I am learning to learn and for the lessons that have come my way in the past few weeks. I hope that I continue to benefit from them and to listen with less offence the next time a lesson comes my way (no matter who the teacher is).

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